Separation Anxiety
by Alabaster86
Summary: Letting go can be difficult; a series of loosely connected Maiko stories dealing with separation.


A/N: I've had this kicking around for about a year now. I wrote it for a friend's birthday last year and never got around to publishing it. Seems there are a few half finished, nearly finished and finished stories that I have yet to share sitting amongst all my documents. That's what happens when you sort through old files. It feels really weird publishing something here after a year, really, really weird, like I'm stepping backward into an old life. Despite all that, I hope whoever reads the story enjoys.

_**Left Behind**_

Fire Lord Zuko, ruler of his nation for a full two years now, watched from the bed as Mai packed a small trunk, placing every item with meticulous care.

"But, I've gotten used to you being here." His voice was almost a whine.

Mai gave him a narrow eyed stare before turning back to her beautifully carved case of bladed weapons. "Used to me; how…. flattering."

"You know what I mean, Mai. Everything's so much better when you're here, easier. Do you have to go?"

"You do realize that you sound like a little boy, right, a bratty, sulky little boy?" He contemplated that for a moment and then nodded grudgingly. "And you realize that your behaviour is annoying?" Zuko nodded once more. "And that you're pathetically adorable and I want to push you down on the bed and have my way with you?"

"I was hoping."

Mai smirked. Zuko followed suit and soon they were a snarled mess on the snarled bedding.

~~~~0000~~~~

"Will that hold you until I get back?" Mai, hair messy, travel clothing awry, placed one last kiss on her lover's lips, a sensual one, deep and long, one that snatched his breath away. "And that?"

The Fire Lord pretended to give the question serious thought. "No, but it will have to do for two long, unbearable weeks spent here with cranky old men and fussy servants."

"Poor baby," Mai mocked gently, stroking back his disheveled hair. "It will give you time to catch up on your work."

"Yeah," he sighed. "I suppose. And what will you be doing, you and Suki and Ty Lee and Katara and Toph?"

"Talking about you and Sokka and Aang and whatever mysterious guy Toph has hooked up with this year."

Imagining what the women might discuss amongst themselves, Zuko flushed a delicate pink. "I suppose there's no use asking what you say about us, is there?"

"No."

"I tried."

"Yes, you did. You always do."

"Seriously, I'll miss you. I hate it when you're so far away. It's like, like I'm not quite all me."

"I'm coming back," Mai reminded him gently. "And I'll miss you too. But time apart is important once in awhile. It makes us realize just how good we have it here, together."

Something passed over Zuko's features, something dark and sad. One day they would be apart forever. The thought froze him inside, stilled his heart, stalled his breath. He could not imagine the desolation of a world without Mai. Selfishly he hoped to die first. But the image of Mai alone was just as unbearable. It would happen to one of them, though. He wished with unmatched fervor that the day was far off, when he was ancient and decrepit, his mind full of nothing but wonderful memories.

"Zuko, hey, you can't stop it."

"How do you know what I'm thinking?"

"I know you." She took his hand in hers, stroking the calloused fingers, the motion imparting so much love. "And you're not the best at hiding things. This face…." She let go of his hand and stroked his cheek. "…shows everything."

"Come back to me."

She nodded and kissed him, soft and sweet this time. "Be here for me when I get back."

And so there was a promise. It was a promise to always return and always wait, until death claimed one, and maybe, maybe, after that too.

* * *

><p><em><strong>Weekend Getaway<strong>_

"You're sure she'll be all right? I hate leaving her behind. I hate anyone else looking after her."

The Fire Nation princess, ten month old Miyako, crawled across her colourful blanket, fists clutching a dragon here, a bright yellow sun there, as she moved. Unperturbed by the goings on, she giggled, amused by something her parents could not see.

"Zuko, she'll be fine. It's not like we've never left her with someone else; we do have a nurse. Remember?"

Dragging a hand through his hair, disrupting the perfect placement of his top knot, Zuko stared down at their daughter, his eyes alight with love and concern.

"But that was only for a few hours. This is for two days and two nights. Anything could happen. What if she needs us? What if she won't stop crying? What if she hurts herself?"

"Oh, for the love of….she's in good hands, Zuko." With brisk efficiency, Mai bent down, scooped up Miyako and handed her over to the Fire Lord. "Say goodbye." Mai gave their daughter a kiss on the head and then ruffled her thick black hair. "Love you, Miya."

Zuko cuddled her close, rubbing his nose in her hair, stroking her sturdy back, cupping her bottom. "Daddy loves you too, so, so much. It's Mommy's idea to leave you and take this little vacation, not mine."

A knock on the door sounded. Mai strode across the room, looking over her shoulder at Zuko and Miyako, rolling her eyes.

"Oh, good, Iroh, you're here. We're ready to go."

The old tea maker could see the distress of his nephew's face. "Zuko…..you've got to let go a bit sometime. I'll take very good care of my grand niece." Iroh approached the young man slowly, hands out. "Give her to me now."

"Uh, I don't know, Uncle. Can I trust you?"

"Zuko!"

Torn between his wife's potential wrath and his irrational fear of leaving Miyako, Zuko blinked, owl-like, before finally, with great reluctance, relinquishing his daughter.

"There, okay." Now he blinked back tears. "Let's go before I change my mind."

Mai gave Iroh an apologetic look as she shoved Zuko along toward the door.

"Ember Island had better be worth it."

"It always has been," Mai snapped back.

Transported by sweet memories of earlier times on the vacation island, Zuko's tension eased.

"Yeah, it always has."

* * *

><p><strong>First Date<strong>

"It all checks out, Zuko." Mai handed her husband a single sheet of paper. "Everything; we have no reason to keep Miyako from seeing this boy."

"How about the fact that he's a boy?" The Fire Lord practically growled the words.

"I know how you feel, Zuko. But Miyako can protect herself. She's a fine bender and a fine knife thrower. And how paranoid are we anyway?"

"She's the princess of the Fire Nation. He's probably attracted to her power, her wealth. Who knows how he'll try to manipulate her."

"Zuko, they're fifteen and beautiful. I think he's probably attracted to something else." Mai shuddered at the thought. "Oh, Agni, I remember quite well what I was doing at fifteen with you."

"That's different. We were in love."

"And there were no concerned parents around to monitor our activities. We should have a talk with her, about sex and love and…."

"We already have. I think chaperoning this date is a better idea."

"Miyako, she'll do what she wants in the end. She's stubborn and determined like you. If she wants to ditch us, she will." Mai wriggled her way into Zuko's stiffly crossed arms and pressed herself against his chest. His heart beat fast. She put a hand over it as if willing the muscle and her husband to calm down. "Maybe it's best if we just let go, a little bit." Mai stood on her tiptoes and gave the Fire Lord a kiss. "She's smart. Let's trust her judgment and watch, from the sidelines."

"You're right, of course, Mai." This time he kissed her. "I just want her to be safe and happy. It's hard not to rush in and try to protect her."

"We'll be here if she needs us. Come on." She tugged on his hand and walked toward their daughter's door. "Let's go tell her she has permission to see this young gentleman."

"He'd better be a gentleman," Zuko hissed.

~~~~0000~~~~

Mai and Zuko both sighed as Miyako left, walking alongside her date, a young man named Hiro, a perfectly decent seeming young man, polite and respectful, at least around them. They'd watched their daughter grow and mature and change. It happened, slow and gradual, but sometimes in quick bursts too. And with each milestone, each accomplishment, there was joy and pride and wonder. But there was sorrow as well, a gentle tugging at their hearts that said, 'your baby is not a baby any longer...she'll be leaving you soon'.

From an infant, helpless and dependent, Mai and Zuko her whole world, she became a toddler, busy and adventurous and then a school child, wrapped up in her friends, forming her own opinions, learning to talk back. And then, the teen years began; volatile, difficult, every day a challenge, for her and for them. And she stepped away from her parents, avoided them even, gave her love in fits and starts, and withheld it just as often.

But when it was important, when it really meant something, Miyako came back, sought their wisdom and experience, and more than anything, their love that held no bounds.

"It was terrible. He's a jerk." Miyako refused to cry though she wanted to. "Are all guys like that?" She stared at her father. "No, I guess not."

"Well," Mai amended with a smirk. "Your father had his moments." That was true. But Mai had hers as well. "All of us can be jerks sometimes. Hiro's young and stupid and doesn't know how to treat a girl right. Either he'll get better or he won't."

"Doesn't matter," Miyako sniffled. "He's history. But there's this other guy….."

"Another guy?" Clearly miffed, Zuko squeezed the bridge of his nose and turned to Mai for help. "Is this the way it's going to be from now on?" She nodded. "I don't know if I'll be able to take it."

"Miyako, it's time for bed."

"Awww, come on, Mom, it's not even midnight yet."

One look from her mother and the princess gulped, said a brief goodnight and hurried to her room.

"Now, you, my dear, you need some special care." Mai guided her husband out of the sitting room, down the hall and into the suite of rooms they called home.

Once inside, Mai locked the door and began to slip out of her clothing, every move graceful and elegant. Zuko watched, his eyes brightening, pink tongue sneaking out to lick his lips. His breathing quickened as his wife approached, naked and beautiful, her slender fingers finding buttons and clasps, undressing him with speed.

Her hands roamed his body and Zuko's blood pounded through veins and arteries, propelled by passion and lust. The sight of Mai drove him crazy, still, after eighteen years together. And he was sure as the years continued to pass, as the world continued to change, that passion and love he felt for his wife would only continue, growing ever stronger. He _knew_ it.

"I want the same for our daughter," Zuko voiced dreamily as they lay curled up together. "I want this joy for her." His voice cracked when he added, "But not yet. I'm not ready to let go. Not yet."

~~~~~OOOOO~~~~~

The royal couple greeted the morning and breakfast and their daughter with sleepy, contented looks.

Miyako glanced between her mother and father, noted the conspiratorial whispers, the twinkles in two sets of gold eyes, the hands reaching for hands. A smart girl, she figured it all out.

"Ewww….."

"Yes, Miyako, your parents love each other."

"Yeah, I know, but really? You're like, old."

They snickered.

"Oh, honey, just you wait. We're nowhere near old. And we're better than ever." Mai could not resist teasing her daughter. "I only hope you find a love that makes you as happy as we are."

Miyako could not argue that. She gave her parents a respectful nod, as if to say, 'yeah, I hope so too.'


End file.
